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Will You Tell Your Spouse?

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Every marriage plateaus. Every marriage requires changes and adjustments. It's totally normal and it's perfectly healthy. 
 
Is this what your marriage needs right now? Does your marriage need to be tweaked? You might want to take a step back and pray about it. 
 
When your marriage is stuck, it's a signal that it's ready for timely reinventing. I'm not talking about a total departure from what the relationship has been. No doubt there's been incredible moments and healthy rhythms that have created a strong foundation for your marriage that has led you to this moment of relational inventory. 
 
However, it's going to take vulnerablity for reinventing to effectively take place. 
 
Vulnerability moves a marriage forward. It's the willingness to risk. Vulnerability is the willingness to be open and honest and to be willing to fail or succeed in front of your spouse. 
 
My wife, Lisa, was vulnerable with me the other day. She felt hurt by something that I neglected to follow through with but she had the courage to be vulnerable and share her heart with me. It was kind of hard to hear but it was helpful.
 
Lisa's vulnerable moment made our marriage better.  
 
She was signaling to me that she was changing as a woman. Something she didn't care about in the past was different now. Her heart was changing and she needed me to know about it because she wanted me to care for her well. 
 
That's awesome. There's nothing wrong with that. 
 
Is your marriage kind of blah right now? It might be that you and your spouse need to open up, be honest, and share how your hearts and minds and passions and desires are changing. Let each other know. Be courageous. 
 
Here are some areas where you can chose to be vulnerable with each other:
 
  • Is everything going okay financially?
  • Are we both satisfied with our sexual intimacy?
  • Is spiritual growth a priority?
  • How's our communication been lately? Is it stimulating? Is it too routine and boring?
  • Are we having fun together?
  • Is there some unresolved hurt somewhere?
Pray about this. Where might you and your spouse need to reinvent your marriage?
 
It's not nagging and it's not complaining. It's just open and honest inventory. It's a chance to let your spouse know about your ever-changing self. 
 
Go for it, spouses! Your marriage will grow once again. Trust the grace of God in all of this. 
 
You Are Loved! 
Posted by Brent Halvorsen with

Can You Play Monopoly With Us?

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"Can you play Monopoly with us?"
 
That was the unexpected request from my two teenage boys. Just the other night I'm upstairs watching a pretty sweet Western film only to be interrupted by the deep voice of my 17-year-old son asking me to play Monopoly. 
 
My first reaction was disbelief. "How can this be," I thought. Is it possible that I'm being asked a no-strings-attached, simple request to merely spend time with my progressively independent and socially particular teenage boys? Is this a joke? Am I going to fall into some kind of trap or something?
 
I didn't know that my sons had the ability to ask a question that had nothing to do with the giving of money or the going out with friends or the driving of a family car. I was a little bit shaken. 
 
My second reaction was to say no because it's Monopoly. Monopoly takes time. It's a marathon. No one ever really plays by the rules or even truly wins the game. Players usually just give up and gift their property to the most ruthless personality across the board. 
 
But, the Holy Spirit or something inside of me said, "Don't pass up this opportunity to spend quality time with your sons." So, I said yes. 
 
Shared experiences are so important when wanting to build intimacy with people. Intimacy is simply the by-product of shared experiences. 
 
Do you want to get closer to someone? A child? A spouse? A friend? A co-worker?
 
Then ask them to experience something with you. Or, say yes to them when they want to experience something with you. 
 
It's so important. Be intentional. Be adventurous. Say YES!
 
I love it that Jesus intentionally picked out men to spend time with and experience life together. So much intimacy developed because of all the moments they shared learning, serving, walking, eating, and so much more. 
 
So, build intimacy with those you love. Say YES even when most everything inside of you is thinking no. Jesus's disciples said YES and their lives changed forever. 
 
Shared experience is so powerful. 
 
You Are Loved!
Posted by Brent Halvorsen with

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