Your Spouse Needs You to Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability isn't simply the sharing of new information. You could meet a stranger on a train and share with him or her where you work and where you live and even possibly your annual salary and it still might not reach vulnerability status.
Think about when you first started dating your spouse. Do you remember how much you were learning about this new, fun, incredible person in your life? You were amazed that they wanted to be a dentist one day, are terrified of rollercoasters, never ate a slice of pizza from New York, and are obsessed over pickles.
The rate of new information was coming at you like the speed of light. You were learning a lot and it felt good. Most likely, intimacy was building because of mutually shared personal information. Some of it may have felt like true vulnerability but much of the information was probably just fun and interesting, at least at first.
When we're first dating, we can live off of the sharing of new information for a while, but once all the new information has been disclosed or discovered, new depths must be reached in order for our marriage relationship to grow deeper. And our marriages most grow deeper.
Vulnerability means to make one's self open to physical or emotional harm. Okay, that sounds dangerous and even wrong. However, the point isn't inviting someone to hurt us. The point of vulnerability is that we would allow someone in to see the weakest or most fragile aspects of our psyche, our heart, our dreams, our fears, and so much more. It's each person intentionally making themselves transparent, so that the other person can get a glimpse inside.
That takes a lot of trust. But it's totally worth it because marital intimacy grows when vulnerability is shared.
So, what's holding you back from inviting your spouse on a coffee date or maybe a weekend getaway to share some more things about each other that will cause your relationship to reach new depths?
Choose vulnerability. Start slow and work your way deeper.
HINT: One of the best ways to begin is to pray with each other.
You Are Loved!